Paige took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Feels too much is being asked of her and is tired ..." Click here to read the rest of the results.

...How the hell does it know?

Also, free reign rp is still open for anyone interested?

Apparently, my mother was [and is] the biggest Speed Racer geek to ever grace this plane of existance. She used to pretend to be Trixie, and she and her brother would race imaginary cars and run home to see it every afternoon.

It makes me feel strangely relieved to know that anime is in my blood.













On the other hand...STOP SINGING THAT DAMN THEME SONG, MOM.

Go to the school's mandatory chapel service, or hide out in the library and actually do something productive? Hmm. I choose...

I haven't been taking my Prozac lately. Not a good idea, considering I need to be stable when Li's going through everything she is. Already I'm having to pick up some slack; I have to write this month's book review--she didn't do it last month, so the duty falls to me. Not an especially large duty, but enough to make me feel a bit overwhelmed given all the projects I have to do at school. Of course everything seems harder right now, when I'm NOT ON MY MEDS WHAT WAS I THINKING--so I expect things will get better soon.

Why does it take so long for moderators to accept/ deny applications? I suppose I shouldn't complain, but if I'm going to be rejected I'd rather not get my hopes up beforehand.

And speaking of RPGs, Felicia.I should feel horrible about giving her such a tragic "ending", but for some odd reason, all I have is this grim satisfaction, sort of like back then when

oh hell no. not gonna go there, that's for sure. Crap. I just need to stop, do the dishes, my homework, and take my medicine and a shower. "Get control of my life", as the FPU says.

Thank you, number fifty-four. Thank you for restoring a modicum of my faith in this fandom. I freaking concur.

Though, looking back on it now, I have no idea how I stood all those misogynistic aspects of Naruto while I was "into" the series. I was just there for the cool fight scenes, I guess.

Also, for the record? sigillums = awesome.

So. I'm okay; not dead, etc. A lot of good things have happened, actually; I got the copy of Yoroi Gaiden I ordered off of Ebay. There are pictures. Pretty pictures, including Seiji in kendo-mode, which makes me die a happy little death inside every time I see it and almost makes up for the fact that I can't read the damn thing. Language is so frustrating. I want to learn. Japanese, Spanish, even Arabic...I'd love to be able to study all of them. Gah. Wishful thinking, but I will learn Japanese one day! So for now I'll just look at the book as an investment.

We also recently shadowed some students at the local public school, where Li and I are really considering transfering next year. B.A., our current school, is kind of wearing on my nerves, but I can't help but wonder if it's the best thing for me to "run away". I face this kind of dillemma often. I mean, B.A. isn't terrible; what if I'm putting myself through all this stress in favor of a situation that's really not worth the trouble? Plus Chas is there, and if I see him, I'm frankly liable to either kill him or burst into tears. But Cree is there, and she says it's fantastic, so...I'll probably go. Nothing will change if I don't.

Speaking of change. Li. She's been more depressed than ever. She shut herself in the bathroom yesterday and I checked on her twice under the pretense of looking for one book or another, just to make sure she hadn't slit her wrists or something. I'm not the type to kill myself, but Li...I don't know about her. I think she's a little better today, though. She's always been more resillient than me anyway.

Four more weeks, then I'm free for the summer~ I'm dreading exams, however. My grades have really slipped this year. I hate that, but I can't afford to worry now. Mom and Dad and Li need me.

Oh! And Kiki, I want to apologize for logging out of AIM so abruptly the other day. My internet connection's been nothing if not finicky as of late; there's something wrong with my modem. It was an accident, and I'm really sorry.

I've figured out a problem with my writing. I am constantly torn between the serious and the lighthearted and have difficulty writing either. The "lighthearted"--comedy, romance, etc.-- I feel to be insincere, less real than the angst which the writers I most admire depict. On the other hand, the "serious", the "real", is so difficult; my stories are character-driven and revolve around the emotions said characters experience. I cannot put them through the pain, but neither can I portray them in a light that I feel to be less than sincere.

I hate elitists, and yet I feel that if I don't write with them in mind, nothing will come of my words; no impact witll be made and no one will truly remember or care.

Thank you, Arthur Miller. Now what the hell am I supposed to do?

Does anybody else feel this way?

My Personality

Neuroticism	88
Extraversion	2
Openness to Experience	47
Agreeableness	15
Conscientiousness	15

You do not experience strong, irresistible cravings and consequently do not find yourself tempted to overindulge, however you experience panic, confusion, and helplessness when under pressure or stress. People generally perceive you as distant and reserved, and you do not usually reach out to others. You prefer familiar routines and for things to stay the same. You can tend to feel uncomfortable with change. You are willing to take credit for good things that you do but you don't often talk yourself up much, however you believe that a certain amount of deception in social relationships is necessary. You are guarded in new relationships and less willing to openly reveal the whole truth about yourself. You are a reasonably organized person and like to have a certain amount of routine in your life.

Take a Personality Test now or view the full Personality Report. The best Buying Pet Gifts.

...Somehow I'm not surprised about the neuroticism.

I ran into Cree in the hair salon today. I was so happy I almost cried.

Maybe I'm lonelier than I thought.

This tears it: I'm probably going to the public high school next year. Bigger post to come, I guess.

You know what really frustrates me? When I'm outside and I look out over one landscape or another, whether as innocuous as a forest or as sweeping as a mountain, I automatically picture myself hovering or flying over it, looking down and around in such a way that everything appears mystical and clear and wondrous. Though I realize what I'm imagining isn't real by any stretch, I do want to describe it, but naturally the words come with extreme difficulty. By the time I grasp a description, the vision itself has faded and the point is moot. It doesn't make sense, but there you are.

Look how CUTE he is! Look, look!

And pay no mind to my voice. I sound dumb.

Give me a song (MP3 if you can) and I'll write whatever the song brings to mind. 

I can has a bunny rabbit~ It's sooo sweet and cute. I could use some help thinking of a good name, though.

Okay, so they have a right to be concerned. I'll concede that. But why mad?

It's just a tiny bald spot. I honestly didn't realize I was pulling out that much. Or that scalp could bleed.

I'm gonna have to wear a hat till July.


I want to go home. But I am home. That makes a shitload of sense, huh?

 Anything requiring a modicum of athletic skill, grace, or strength. Taking care of pets. Finding x. Keeping a real journal. Appreciating insects. Makeup. Sudoku. Starving myself to death. HTML. Appreciating Tolkien. Drawing. Singing. Finishing a multi-chapter fic. Not whining. Understanding my family. Understanding football. Text messaging. Being cool. Enjoying fast food. Making a featherbed...

Yeah, that's about it for now. I'm sure I can think of more later.

In other news, Cousin Kate the Perfect is descending from her throne in North Carolina to spend Easter with us. I can hardly wait to hear of her latest accomplishments. Even if I don't, I'm sure Grandma and Pop will remind me of them every chance they get until her next visit.

...I want a rabbit.

Ohmigosh ohimogosh omigosh omigosh~

I'm so excited.

I need to calm down.

Deep breath, Adi. Explain.

My grandfather is an entomologist. He studies parasites--ticks and that sort of thing. It doesn't sound really glamorous, but he's actually made quite a name for himself. Pop recently recieved a Gregor Mendel award for his work on lyme disease, and he's known by scientists in countries all around the world. The only reason I say this is that one of those countries happens to be Japan.

Recently, two of his associates from Hokkaido--Toshi and Kozo--came over to our grandparents' house. Knowing how much we like Japanese culture, Grandma invited Li and I over to have dinner with them. I was really nervous; I wanted to talk with them, but I didn't want to to come off as a presumptuous weeaboo or something. Still, it got to the point where I could show what I knew. They were shocked how much Lindsey and I knew of Japanese history and language. They giggled whenever we could answer one of their questions right [at first I thought I'd said something wrong, but Pop said they were just pleased]. Apparently, they have no idea how popular manga and anime are in the States-- that a couple of American kids knew about the Edo period and the Meiji revolution was totally surprising to them. Toshi, the younger man, was especially excited, and we talked about Shonen Jump manga, etc. It was awesome, because Kozo's eldest daughter is a real manga-ka! I tried to ask what kind of manga she drew, but he never really told me. Cool, nonetheless. I really think Toshi and Kozo liked us; they even said we should come to Japan so we could see some of the old battlefields and historical sites.

That was a few weeks ago. Today I went over to Grandma and Pop's house, and what do they have but a package from Toshi! He sent Li and me the first three volumes of Nodame Cantabile in Japanese along with a note:


I'm so excited. Thinking about all this, it's like...my hobbies are more than just hobbies. They could open so many doors for me. I mean, the world is so big, and I could involve myself in a part of it I really love. I can't wait to write Toshi back~

Okay. Um. I haven't focused on Yuugiou in forever, but...I'd really apprecuate a bit of critique on this fragment. Comments. Something. I have a feeling, at the risk of jinxing the whole thing.



 

Two Cs. Two. How is this possible? When did I slip? What am I going to do?

I have to get into a good college. I have to. There is no negotiation. But how...why...

I think I need something. And it sure as hell ain't Geometry.

I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. My sister's Prozac hasn't been working for her for awhile. Dr. L gave her a different medication and perscribed double her typical dosage. 175 mgs. Was I ever that bad? Did she feel like this when I was going through my shit? I thought we were different. but the only real difference is that I'm more selfish than she. How could I not have noticed her? But the worst part is she won't even talk to me about it. I had to pull Dr. L's teeth to get him to tell me even the smallest piece of info, and more than half of that was rhetorical place-fillers. He has that patient-confidentiality thing, I know, but damn it, she's my twin! I need to know about her. When she cries, I cry. When she's cut off, so am I...I don't know what to do.

To make matters worse, Mom kind of pushed me onto a babysitting job. I've got no idea how to take care of a one-year old...

Name a character from one of my fandoms, and I will answer the following questions regarding that character:

1) What is your opinion of this character? If you like, explain why you like him/her. Likewise if you dislike the character.
2) Is he/she important to the general plot?
3) Can you relate to this character at all? Do they grip you emotionally?
4) How much do you like the fandom that this character comes from?
5) Do you ship this character with any other character? Or, are you particularly intrigued by their relationship with any other character(s)? (romance-wise or platonic)
6) Is there anything about the character you would change?
7) If you were in the fandom with this character or knew this character in real life, how do you see yourself interacting with him/her? (Would you get along well? Fall in love with? Dislike? Friendly rivalry? etc etc)
8) Does this character make the cut as one of your all time favorites (if you like) or least favorites?
9) Would you hype up this character (if you like) or warn about (if you dislike) to someone whose new to the fandom?
10) Is this character popular with the fanbase?
 
Fandoms: Naruto, Loveless, Yuugiou, Yuu Yuu Hakusho, Yoroiden Samurai Troopers [Ronin Warriors]

I...

I got in.

I feel...proud. [Read: SUCK IT, BITCHES! HAHAHAHAHAHA!] 

I just hope the other shoe doesn't drop.